Hypothetically speaking...of course

Okay, I am a mercenary for education, a purveyor of knowledge, pusher of pronouns...in other words a teacher. Now i became a teacher by default but I'm good a what I do (that's faint rustle was the sound of me popping my own collar). Although, I have been in the classroom for five years but I think its time for me to start planning my escape (or ess-cap-pay: thanks Dorrie!) because I have officially seen it all. I teach reading, which I enjoy a great deal, and I have two groups: a certifiably crazy morning group and an afternoon group which is the milder "crazy auntie"-style of crazy. Welllllll, the other day one of my students, who is in my afternoon group and has completely flown the coop lately, had another one of his temper-tantrum-total meltdowns. Although said student is very bright, said student is also mentally unstable *sigh*. Anywhoo (the following is completely hypothetical since it is apparently against policy to video tape student behavior even for the sole purpose of showing it as evidence, I mean examples, to student's parents....) if I was to tape said student's temper tantrum the parents would have been amazed to see their "baby boy" tipping over desks, sitting on the floor while clutching the leg of the student's desk behind him, walking around the restroom area all the while screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. But said student's parents would have been especially proud when I would have come to the "hypothetical" video clip where said student channels all the fury of Chaka King of the Zulu Tribe and Hannibal one of the greatest generals of all time, LET OUT A BATTLE CRY AND CHARGES FULL SPEED AT HIS TEACHER ALL THE WHILE SWINGING HIS BOOKBAG!!!!!! Said student's teacher hypothetically captured this whole scene on her hypothetical camera phone using its hypothetical video feature. The following day said teacher meet with this student's parents to let them know that their child is indeed "coo coo for cocoa puffs" and of course the parents were appalled to see their child attacking an educational professional, in this hypothetical video. To make a long story short if this video did exist other teachers and staff would surely be entertained by the agile cat-like reflexes exhibited on this HYPOTHETICAL video because said educational purveyor remembered and implemented the wise words of Patches O'Houlihan from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, " duck, dive, dip, DODGE!!!" thereby successfully avoiding that flying bookbag!

Hey there! Its late, and I'm a procrastinator but if I don't go to bed soon I'll end up going level 9 on my students because they are reading the story wrong. Since I enjoy teaching and I want my kids to enjoy learning I'd better go recharge my "bat-trees". Hopefully something interesting will occur so i can blog about it, in the wise words of the minstrel Sleepy Brown "I Can't Wait!" NIGHT!